Carefree

Stream of consciousness on a Thursday morning

Woke up before the sun. I do this regardless if I’ve slept enough. I’m a certified morning person. I can only get into a flow state when the earth seems to be opening her eyes to watch me. The silence is addictive. I mean it’s not completely silent. The floorboards before the bathroom creak and the wind whispers against the windows. But it’s so deliciously quiet.

I only drink water before work. Work being baking of course. Work being nurturing my family of course. Work being being everything for every one of course. Anyways, I had a cake to bake and another to decorate. Both for birthdays thank goodness. I hate when I have juxtaposing cakes. For example, I once made and delivered one baby gender reveal cake and one anniversary of a baby’s passing on the same day. That really fucked me up for a couple days.

I decorated the first birthday cake with ease. I love when the frosting is nice to me. Faint scents of almond danced around the edges of the cake as I piped. I’m an almond lover for LIFE. Once boxed, the other finished baking. I don’t use a timer, I just smell the air. You can absolutely smell the sugar caramelizing. At least I hope you can. That one also filled the kitchen with sweet scent of vanilla. I’m a vanilla bean lover for LIFE. I think I chose the right passion.

I was slightly irritated however because the internet was/is acting up and I had no phone signal. Normally, I love being a little Luddite but not today. I huffed and puffed (quietly because my family is still asleep) and accepted it. The best practices I have for chilling tf out is to wash the dishes and then go outside. Something about the simplicity of washing bowls and rocking on the porch is healing in ways I can’t really describe.

I noticed the trees lost their leaves overnight. It looks like they wept for hours. The birds are migrating south and stopped by our neck of the woods to rest and digest. I couldn’t help but reflect on the connection between being vegan and my love for nature. Then I recalled how I tried to rescue an injured hawk last week. Bless his heart, he couldn’t move at all on the ground. I put him in a container with towels to stay warm. My neighbor housed him in their basement to escape the oncoming frost that night. They graciously took him to the wildlife hospital for me because I had wedding deliveries all day. Sadly, he didn’t make it beyond the weekend and my heart broke. I’m so painfully attached to all living things so much so that after they’ve passed my heart yearns for them eternally.

I returned inside famished. I don’t want to cook food food after I do any baking. It’s a left side versus right side of brain kind of thing for me. Plus, I just wanted my husband to cook a tofu veggie hash. I made my coffee the way I like it. I unapologetically made instant espresso, added salt, lion’s mane extract and some frothed maple pecan creamer. Returning ingredients to their residencies in my cabinets, I noticed the Lotus sandwich cookies nestled between my son’s gummies and the jar of vegan Nutella. I grabbed one to eat with my coffee and reminisced over my breakfasts in Italy. Although I haven’t been back to visit, my best friend Ivana travels there annually and brings the Nutella back for me. Get you an Ivana!

Wandering in Italy

I relaxed into the couch cushions on the right. That’s my spot. Anytime I catch my husband or son in my spot, JAIL. I digress. That cookie cautiously dipped into my coffee was divine. I’m not into Lotus cookies (also known as Biscoff) like most but I do enjoy them with coffee exclusively.

The word lotus triggered the memory of my back tattoo. I have a lotus flower at the top of my spine. My second ever tattoo etched into me while in college. It coincided with my belief of channeling energy up my spine as described in Kundalini. My desire to remain open and beautiful, to glide gracefully across any rough waters, to grow out of the mud. Beneath it reads “Carefree” in cursive. That’s what I try to be, carefree and not so damn anxious all the time. It’s a daily practice. In that moment, I realized that I had nothing to worry about actually. A nice, carefree moment. All thanks to a little cookie dipped in coffee.

Wishing you the best always from here to there,

Carri

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Glimmers lately:

Book Club meeting with Alicia Kennedy and folks was so fun fun fun! 10/10 recommend

Loving my updated fall wardrobe. I think it’s easier to feel well put together in colder months than the summer.

Seeing my kiddo in his overalls pumpkin picking is a memory I hope to never forget.

I took a workout class for the first time in like 3 years (since being pregnant) and it was so invigorating and uplifting.

Singing karaoke daily is my new religion.

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As always, check me out on socials @withcarrington

Send an email to withcarrington@gmail.com

Learn more about me & the bakery on www.withcarrington.com