Alone but in good company, I perch myself on the bottom porch step. I’m eavesdropping on the birds reporting to another how their day went. The breeze is mollifying me better than any weighted blanket. A green spider is preparing dinner. Trees dancing bachata against the sunset. Deer grazing our neighbors pear tree unbothered. The unraveling clouds seem to be running home before the street lights come on. The creases of my feet are attempting to connect to the mycelial network below. The moon is curled into a perfect smile. I send my love out to Mother through a whispered prayer and return inside to my sleepy family.
I had my Akashic Record read to me once over a zoom call from a woman in LA. She told me that I came from a watery blue planet and fell in love with the lush greenery of earth. Also that for many lifetimes, I’ve been stewardess of the land committed to protecting and cultivating the natural world. I was not surprised, quite relieved actually to have an answer of some sort as to why I’m so drawn to nature. Why I’m unwell if I don’t spend some time outside everyday. Why it doesn’t matter if I have some amazing view from a window, I must be able to actually embrace my Mother on a regular basis.
I recently asked my inner circle what brings them peace. I enjoy encouraging people to think deeply and unveil themselves to me. What good is it to philosophize about life alone? In community, we can illuminate similarities that bring us closer together and differences that bring us closer to a well-defined self. I was moved by their answers, per usual. And when pondering my own answer, my chest began to radiate with warmth. For being with Mother Nature brings me genuine peace.
I’m not picky about how I spend my time with her. I just don’t want it rushed or interrupted. I don’t mind if others join me. Again, just don’t rush or interrupt me. It is beyond any other practice or sensation or substance that can make me feel at peace inside and out. I don’t have to be anyone or anything for Mother. Being in nature is the only place I feel like I can truly come as I am. On top of that, I’m always given a gift. Sometimes tangible. Sometimes metaphysical. I don’t seek one out, I simply wait for to be offered my present by staying present.
When I had limited access to greenery, I recreated a jungle in my home. When I had limited access to foraging mushrooms, I grew them myself. When I had limited access to hearing birdsongs, I filled feeders with seeds. Nothing can sever the connection I have with Mother. We always find another, somehow, some way. It’s always been this way.
My birth mother imbued me with confidence to the highest degree. One of the best things she’s ever said to me is “Don’t let other people cause you to lose control.” That taught me self-awareness and emotional regulation at a young age that persists today. I fear not swimming in the ocean or trekking up the mountains. I trust myself and my intuition to guide me. Intuition being how the Divine speaks to me. In nature is where I feel most confident for its where I feel most connected to the Divine. And I am oh so very grateful of both my Mothers for loving and leading me.
Now that I am one, I must do the same. My son does everything with gusto. He hikes with great intention. Strokes leaves with vigor. Doesn’t hesitate to eat any berry we offer. Slaps the cap of every mushroom. His first uncommon word spoken was bird. He swims without fear of the deep end. Every animal stuffie gets a long hug. I must nurture him with all my might because he deserves it. He deserves to feel safe and carefree. I can tell he will be an even bigger tree hugger than me. And that’s really saying something given that I’m a devoted daughter to Mother Nature.
Thank you for reading 🫶🏾
Q&A:
Here’s more of an exercise for you. Name your favorite trait and favorite thing in nature that represents you. That’s your new name! Ie. Mine is Nurturing Wind
email me your natural name or comment on Substack! withcarrington@gmail.com
This felt like the warmest hug! I always leave nature feeling content, satisfied that everything will be ok. This was beautiful, thank you for sharing this.
Curiosity Forest 😊🌳🌲