farmers market: proof of belonging
Thoughts on a surprisingly comforting space to be in
This past Saturday was my first farmers market of the year. About 6 months since my very first market ever. The learning curve is STEEP when it comes to launching a new business and selling your products in person. Nonetheless, I don’t shy away from the opportunity to grow and learn even if that means I’m uncomfortable with the uncertainty. My personal philosophy is that if I want something, I must accept welcoming all the blessings and challenges it may bring. With the farmers market, I get those things and more.
My entire life I’ve been wondering what spaces I belong in that I could just show up to without having to create them myself. It is fun to create spaces that you need and when others join in. I did that at UVA with the Flourishing While Black program, especially in the Santosha for Sisters space. Admittedly, it’s a lot of work to cultivate a community where there’s an organic sense of belonging for those a part of it. You’re everything in one. Everything to everyone. And if you’re not careful, it’ll take everything out of you.
With wisdom and time, I’ve come to learn how to find existing spaces that I can be welcomed into as my whole self. Funny enough, all those spaces tend to be food related. I’m not saying I’ve avoided spaces that aren’t immediately welcoming. I go where I want, do what I want and am able to be myself unapologetically. There are just some places that are easier than others to be immersed in and that feel like another home. One being the farmers market.
I’m a hopeful romantic. Everything I do is done from a place of love to spread more love. I imagine a couple walking by my stand, enamored with the simplicity of it all. Chatting with me and another about the last time they had a croissant. But ultimately being swindled by the heart I piped on the cinnamon roll with cream cheese frosting. We bid our farewells and they share their treat together cheerfully as a way to start their weekend. At least that’s what I like to imagine. The imagination is a wonderful place to journey to from time to time.
In reality, moments like this, and many more special ones, really do happen. I leave my support system (my husband and son) to go to a new support system I didn’t know was available. Fellow vendors willingly offer to help me unload the car and pitch my tent. We wish another good luck and follow up at the end of the day on how it all went. Customers, familiar and new, share stories with me on their lives, how we know another and exchange hugs as much as money. I feel no anxiety when someone takes a bite in front of me anymore, just anticipation for the smile to beam from their face and an approving nod. I give children stickers just to see them reignited while confided to their strollers and wagons. In the end, being praised for selling out and wishes to see me back next week seal the deal on my heart exploding.
The word appreciation doesn’t quite capture what I feel after the market. You know the saying “death by a thousand paper cuts”? What I experienced is more like “birth from a thousand glimmers”.
I’m not all that surprised though. According to my Human Design chart as a Manifestor, I apparently thrive in markets. The Farmers Market at IX is becoming like a vacation home. I love it. They love me. I belong there. Who knew? Who knew my vegan baked goods would connect me to so many kindred spirits?
Like I said earlier, being a hopeful romantic is my default setting. That puts me as risk of having my heart broken more often. I am risking a broken heart if someone critiques my work or me as a person. That doesn’t keep me from still doing what I love, it actually just teaches me valuable lessons. Like that I’m right for the right people. Meaning I’m not right for everyone and that’s okay! That there’s always room for improvement. That that’s their experience and not everyone’s experience. That this is all about progress, not perfection.
I was scared when I first started but now I look forward to whatever a market day holds. That’s the power of pursuing your dreams while scared. DO IT SCARED! One day it won’t be. Be willing to fail. To learn. To make mistakes. To pivot. To go all in. To take a break to reassess. People are more patient with you than you are with yourself. So take your time mastering your craft. You don’t have to be a Jack or Jenni of all trades, you can just be a master of some. I’m just trying to master this vegan bakery and motherhood. That’s more than enough to focus on and pour my heart into.
Thanks for listening as always. I love you!
Sincerely,
Carri
PS big thanks to my husband for his stunning croissant making, to my son for taste testing, to my mama who answers every call and text, and to my grandma who I’m certain prays over me more than I’ll ever know.
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If you’re local to Charlottesville, VA, come visit me! Starting March 29, I’ll be at the market every Saturday throughout the spring/summer (God willing). Or stop by Botanical Fare downtown to taste the muffins and cakes I regularly drop off.
If you’re not local, you can consider becoming a paid subscriber where you get all access to my recipes to bake these goodies at home!
As always, you can always connect with me via email withcarrington@gmail.com and on my website www.withcarrington.com
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Q&A:
Do you frequent farmers markets?
What’s your favorite baked good?
Where do you belong?