Interviewing Myself

November 2022- cant tell I’m like 30 weeks pregnant here

I am not one of those people whose default setting is to have an empty mind. I’m always thinking. Always. Whether I’m recalling the past, daydreaming of the future, or making decisions in the present, I am ALWAYS thinking. When I was younger, questionnaires were easily accessible on Tumblr or I’d take lots of online quizzes for fun like on Buzzfeed. Nowadays, I like to go onto Pinterest to look for them. My husband is my typical victim in long car rides to these long lists of hyper specific questions. I found a really lovely one while our son was napping on me and figured it’ll be fun to share my answers with y’all in a letter this time.

One of my guiding principles is that I move through conversations with people from a “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”* perspective. The asterisk referring to my exception which is “If Asked, Then Tell the Whole Truth”. There’s some folks who love chatting endlessly without taking a breath. Not I! I want to play field hockey with you in conversation. We are both equally interesting and if the right questions aren’t asked, then how will we get to know another deeply? My husband said this is my gift, I can release real, honest, interesting information from people in a non-invasive way.  I want to further my relationship with you, our writer-reader relationship. I’ve introduced myself a little before but let’s keep going. So without further ado, welcome to my self interview.

~

September 2020 - the summer I first fell in love with foraging

Come into our home and see how I’ve filled it with tender love. The walls are painted sage green for a calming effect. You’ll be wrapped in the soothing scent of a campfire coffee. Spinning on vinyl above the fireplace is “Cowboy Carter” for us to dance and sing to. Dahlias are bursting from their vase on the dining table. We sit down to enjoy some of my favorite comfort food. A dreamy, creamy pasta with steamed broccoli and freshly foraged chanterelle mushrooms. Paired with zero proof Sauvignon Blanc. For dessert, we indulge in some autumn spiced slices of cake. I love that my hands can create this kind of magic in the kitchen and share it with loved ones. All the loved ones I’ve collected over the years. My original family. The new family I gained when I got married. Now my created family with our son. Childhood friends. College friends. Vegan friends. Yoga friends. Mom friends. Adulthood friends. I am so loved and can never forget it. They are so loved and I hope they never forget it too.

It’s time for an evening walk. I can’t tell what’s more golden at this hour, the sun or the fallen Ginko leaves. I love being swaddled up in a peacoat and knit scarf. It’s easier in my head to dress for weather that bites like grabbing ice cubes with your bare hands. The cold makes me feel so alive. Giddy with my love for life despite it all. I notice the remnants of yesterday’s rain along the street drains. I will have us walk the long way just to ask you questions about yourself that your therapist hasn’t even asked yet. Like “what do you want most in life?” You answer and I’m in awe. In love with your response so much that I’ve caught off guard when you throw the question back at me. But then I give you the answer I believe in most. That I fight hardest for. I want more evenings like this than not because a soft, beautiful, harmonious, playful and thoughtful life is all I’ve ever wanted. We walk back home and give a long hug in the driveway. You may say goodbye but I can’t. I never say goodbye. Always an “I love you, see you next time!” Because I can’t wait to see you again but also yes I’m worried we may never see each other again. Quality time spent together is incredibly important me. Always has been. Always will be.

~

If you’d like to answers these questions yourself or ask your inner circle here you go!